The Avengers v. Sunnydale
by pippins-gal
Summary: Protecting the rights of fictional characters everywhere, here come The Avengers, four teenagers out to save the world, though not all of them seem to realize it…
1. In which Sunnydale is overrun

The Avengers 1: The Avengers v. Sunnydale  
  
None of the Sunnydale characters belong to me, they belong to Joss Whedon, more's the pity. Also this is nothing to do with the TV program The Avengers, or the film of the same name. I think I (Haz) belong to me, but I could be wrong. Oh and Min, Kat and Poppy belong to themselves too (In case you're wondering, yes we're all real people!)  
  
A/N: Ian Fleming, creator of James Bond lent us the helicopter, he was the sort of person I thought might own a helicopter, but I don't know, is he dead? The 'look at the wonderful mess they've made' quote is from Drusilla in 'Fool for Love'. I started writing this after I saw the episode 'Triangle' in season 5 but it's taken me a while to finish it and type it up. It's my first humour fic so please write lots of nice reviews.  
  
Summary: Protecting the rights of fictional characters everywhere, here come The Avengers, four teenagers out to save the world, though not all of them seem to realize it…  
  
Part I  
  
Four girls stood on the hill over looking the picturesque town in the growing darkness, hair blowing this way and that in the gale-force wind generated by the helicopters blades. It looked exactly like scenes from a movie or a TV program… no, wait, that's exactly what it was!  
  
"Thanks!" Poppy flashed the helicopter driver a smile as she and the other girls turned towards the town and the helicopter hovered for a moment and then rose steadily away. "Now, remind me again why we're here?"  
  
Kat sighed "Haven't we been over this already? It's just to get Joss' attention. He hasn't been treating his characters properly so we're just gonna stir things up a bit, is that ok with everyone?"  
  
"S'long as I get to be the one with the gun I don't care." Haz reminded them, pulling a James-Bond style one out from under her jacket and scanning the area for enemies. She ran forward to a clump of bushes, keeping low, military style, and peered round. Sensing three pairs of eyes staring at her questioningly she turned round and stood up a little sheepishly. "Are we going or are we going?" she asked, tapping her foot impatiently. Remembering that Haz was the one with the gun after all, they decided it was in their best interests to go. They went.  
  
"Can we go to the Bronze?" Min asked eagerly, "Oh, and I wanna see the school, you know, where the Mayor was killed and the Masters Cave, and Spike's crypt and…"  
  
"I have every intention of visiting those places," Kat's eyes glinted evilly, a sign that the cogs in her head were well oiled *and* turning. "But all in good time, we may be here for a while, speaking of Sunnydale, how *did* we get here in the first place?" The other three turned to Poppy expectantly.  
  
"Oh, I borrowed the `copter off Ian Fleming." They looked at her credulously. "What?! So I have contacts? I met him at a party!"  
  
"Whatever." Min said.  
  
"I just don't want to know how you persuaded him to lend it you!" Kat's eyes glinted evilly again. Poppy hit Kat with her handbag.  
  
"So how exactly are we gonna stir things up?" asked Haz, changing the subject quickly. "How are we gonna get Joss' attention? I mean, he's clearly been leaving too much to his co-writers, look at the wonderful mess they've made." She kicked a tin can with her foot.  
  
"I thought…" a drum roll echoed from somewhere and the girls turned round expectantly but since there was no sign of anyone. Kat shrugged and continued. "I thought we'd, you know, do a little 'Shanghaiing'." Blank faces met her  
  
"Oh you know, Impressment? Abduction?"  
  
"Like with aliens?" Min asked hopefully. Kat lost her patience "WE'RE GOING TO KIDNAP SOMEONE!" she shouted.  
  
"Oooooh" the others chorused.  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Um, I hadn't thought that far…" Kat admitted.  
  
"Buffy?" Min asked  
  
"Are you crazy?!"  
  
"Well, she is the main character…"  
  
"She's a slayer." Poppy reminded her, not impressed.  
  
"Well, she doesn't kill humans."  
  
"Which doesn't stop her beating us senseless!"  
  
"Ok, um…"  
  
"I saw a film trailer where these guys held up a bank with a magic marker." Haz put in helpfully.  
  
"Do you *have* a point?" Kat asked angrily.  
  
"Um, just I like guns better."  
  
"Ok" Kat said through gritted teeth "Does any one have anything *relevant* to say?"  
  
"Well, how about, like Dawn or someone?" I mean, we don't want all the attention focussed on us and Glory to creep up and get the key, do we?"  
  
Kat seemed to be looking at Poppy in a new light.  
  
"Sometimes you're so brilliant, it scares me." She told her  
  
"Yeah Right!" Min said with a mouthful of crisps.  
  
"Where did you get those?" Haz asked.  
  
"I found them." Min said proudly. "Willow left them here when Riley got annoyed after Buffy got staked in 'Fool for Love'"  
  
"Hello? Am I the only sane one here? We just saw 'Triangle' last week. Those must be like, weeks old!" Kat told them.  
  
"So?" Haz asked taking a handful.  
  
"Sometimes I despair, I really do!" 


	2. In which the kidnapping begins

Disclaimer is the same as before, not mine except for me (Haz)  
  
A/N: This is quite a short chapter, but it was the only way I could break the story up. As always, please review!  
  
The story so far: Well, so far we've worked out that Kat's the brains of the operation, Haz is the one with the gun, Poppy's a flirt and Min's… well she's the other one. Oh, and there planning to kidnap Dawn, for the sake of the world of course…  
  
Part II – In which the kidnapping begins  
  
"There is no way in *hell* I'm climbing up there." Poppy announced looking up the trellis stuck to the side of the Summers' house to Dawn's bedroom.  
  
"Come on, you're a dancer, this should be easy."  
  
"I don't dance up vertical walls!" She reminded them.  
  
"Hello? Guys? We could just go in the door?" Kat reminded them, pushing it open "You know Americans. Even in Sunnydale they never think anything is going to crawl inside their house and kill them."  
  
The girls crept in as quietly as possible, looking around in reverence at the house of Buffy. They made their way up to Dawn's bedroom and pushed open the door. Dawn looked up from the magazine she was reading and the first thing she saw was a menacing looking girl with a gun in her hands.  
  
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!" she screamed and then  
  
"Mmmmmmmmmmm" when Kat covered Dawn's mouth with her hands.  
  
"Shut up and ignore Haz!" Kat hissed. "She just likes guns. Look, we were just wondering if you would do us a favour…"  
  
* * * * *  
  
"So I just have to hang out with you guys for a while?" Dawn asked. They were all standing outside in the street now.  
  
"That's the idea. We just wait for everyone to get worked up and come looking; a bit of blackmail and we're done." Kat explained.  
  
"Oooooh, like a sleepover?" Min asked.  
  
"Yeeeah… just like a sleepover." Kat agreed.  
  
"Um, I hate to interrupt you" Poppy interrupted "but it looks like a few other people wanna join the party too."  
  
An army of the dead was making its way towards them. From everywhere vampires, zombies, demons and oddly enough, men with cheese stuck to them were coming from all sides and joining the sinister looking group that was advancing through the quiet streets.  
  
"Oh, heck!" Haz said, summing up everyone's feelings perfectly.  
  
"Don't panic. Just nobody panic." Kat was saying as slowly and as calmly as she could.  
  
"Don't panic? DON'T PANIC? I think this looks like the perfect time to panic, if you aske me!" Min snapped.  
  
"There's a cemetery just back there" Kat said, pointing behind her, ignoring Min "if we could just get to there…"  
  
"A Cemetery?" Dawn asked "Like, with even more ghouls to come and kill us?"  
  
"The girl's got a point…" Poppy began.  
  
"Look, do we have a choice?" Kat asked tiredly.  
  
The girls looked at the army approaching them, and then at each other.  
  
"RUN!" they shouted unanimously and turned and pounded down the street. 


	3. In which a certain blond vampire finally...

Oh, you know the disclaimer by now, not mine Blah Blah Blah.  
  
A/N: umm, not much to say here really, except please review. Pretty please? With chocolate sauce and a cherry on top? Oh and the `Who the devil are you?' quote is from Merlin (the film) and the `Christ on a bike' one I got from another fanfic, I'm not sure what one, and the `cutie' bit? Well I just had to have Spike call me cute at some point!  
  
The story so far: Ok, so they kidnapped Dawn, and then the Powers That Be (i.e. Joss Whedon and co) sent an army of demons and men with cheese stuck to them to try and stop the girls, so now there running away...  
  
Part III - In which a certain blond vampire finally makes an appearance  
  
In the cemetery a large square building loomed in front of them. They clattered down the steps panting and collapsed inside the door, slamming it shut behind them.  
  
"What the... bloody hell! Who the devil are you?"  
  
"No time to explain, Spike." Kat said, helping Dawn and Min move Spike's armchair and other pieces of bedraggled furniture up against the door in an attempt to barricade it from the demons.  
  
Recognising Dawn, Spike appealed to her "Dawn, what are you doing here? Buffy'll kill me... Does she know you're here?"  
  
"Hiding from them. Of course she won't, you're not the one kidnapping me, and no.," she answered his questions and Spike saw out of one of the cracked windows what could only be described as  
  
"Christ on a bike! That must be Hell's army or something!"  
  
"Which explains who Joss Whedon is! Poppy joked and then rested her chin on Spike's shoulder, making him jump.  
  
"Don't worry honey, we'll look after you." She smiled and batted her eyelids.  
  
"Poppy!" three angry voices warned.  
  
"You said, and I quote `He's rank' remember?"  
  
"I know" she giggled "but I didn't think he'd be this gorgeous in the flesh!"  
  
"POPPY!"  
  
"Alright, alright." She said sadly, moving away.  
  
"We've got to get out of here." Haz stated after a moment or two's silence. She had been steadily shooting her way through the army outside, ignoring the rest of them. Beside her was a pile of guns, all types, where she had tossed them once their cartridges were spent. Kat wondered briefly where Haz had been able to hide so many guns on her person.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"There's too many of them. I'm doing my best but there are just too many of them and shooting vampires doesn't work anyway. We need to relocate to a stronger position.  
  
"Ok," Kat took control of the situation, "You're the expert Haz. Spike, is there a back exit in this place?"  
  
"Yeah, it's through here," Spike indicated and they followed him out. He held open the door, relieved that these weirdos were leaving but they just looked at him. Haz poked him with the nose of the rifle she was now carrying, "You're coming with us."  
  
"No way!" he exclaimed.  
  
"Yes way, you can't hurt us, remember? You're completely in our control!"  
  
"I don't think so, cutie. You said it yourself, guns cant hurt vampires.  
  
"HE CALLED HER CUTE! THAT'S NOT FAIR! I'M WAY CUTER THAN HER!" Min screamed and beat Kat with her fists as Kat fought to restrain her.  
  
"Of course you are Min, Spike's just trying to annoy her, do we want to kidnap Spike or not?"  
  
"I guess" Min consented, pouting "but I'm still way cuter than her."  
  
Haz, meanwhile, was on fine form.  
  
"You know, I always wondered, they saw burning, beheading and staking are the only ways to kill a vampire, but if I blew you up into a thousand tiny pieces, would you still be undead then? ... Oh, hold up, I swear I had some plastic explosives around somewhere..."  
  
"Alright, aright, I'm coming," Spike sighed. He wasn't sure if bowing up a vampire would kill it, but he didn't want to wait around to find out if Haz really was a demolitions expert.  
  
"Well, if it's alright with the rest of you, I didn't plan on getting killed by the undead tonight, so could we get outta here?" Dawn asked impatiently, sounding the spit of Buffy.  
  
"I could run with that..." Poppy mused.  
  
"Why don't we just run?" Kat asked.  
  
"Or that. I don't really mind which." Poppy agreed.  
  
So they did. 


	4. In which The Avengers spend about four p...

Disclaimer as before  
  
A/N: I figured Dawn might use L'Oreal shampoo, is that how you spell it? The `you may be dead but the rest of aren't so stop smoking' quote is a pretty standard Spike fic quote, from more than one fic. Joss Whedon is refered to as `the powers that be'. Sophie's World is a book by Jostein Gaarder. Not much else to say really. Review!  
  
The Story so far: The four Avengers have kidnapped Dawn, and Spike, just to annoy the hell out of Joss Whedon, but he sent an army of demons after them, so now they're running away for the second time. Do the cheese men really have some secret, sinister plot? Will Spike fall desparately in love with one of the four and force them to stay in Sunnydale forever? And what will Joss Whedon do if he can't get rid of those damned Avengers? Find out the to approximately none of these questions in this instalment of The Avengers...  
  
Part IV - In which The Avengers spend about four pages doing nothing very exciting at all  
  
"Where are we?" Dawn asked breathlessly. The four that had become five that now was six had stopped running after they lost the demon army and ran out of breath. Now a thick fog blanketed them and they could not see what way they had come or where they were going.  
  
"I'm not sure," Kat told them "But I think..." A huge solid object loomed suddenly out of the mist. "Yes! Here we are!" Kat exclaimed.  
  
"But where's here?" Spike asked impatiently. Kat had found the double doors that led into the object. She threw them open dramatically and lead the way into the black building. "Here" she said "is the Prop Room!" she explained.  
  
"Ooooh!" Poppy, Min and Haz understood now.  
  
"It's where they keep all the props that are no longer needed on the set." Poppy struck a match, from a box conveniently placed on a side table near the door and lit a few candles, instantly illuminating the room.  
  
It was small and square. Despite its appearance in the fog it was little more than a large windowless shed, made smaller by the fact that three out of four walls were covered by cluttered bookshelves.  
  
"Look!" Min exclaimed, "The Vampyr book from the first season... and oh! It's Buffy's Class Protector award, in the two halves Sunday broke it into."  
  
"Wow! Stakes, and an axe, maybe I should try using an axe instead of a gun, oh and the swords Buffy and Angelus duelled with!" Haz joined in.  
  
"How much do I love those boots? And that coat, but that dress is *so* last season." Poppy informed them. The four girls girls were so enraptured by the objects around them, they temporarily forgot about their `prisoners' who sat down at the table in the centre of the room, looking around.  
  
Finally Kat drew herself away from the displays to shut the doors and finished lighting the rest of the candles that they had decided must have come from the Master's cave in season one. Min joined Dawn and Spike at the table and set up Willow's old chessboard and presently began playing against Dawn, whilst discussing the pains of older sisters and the best ways to keep long hair tangle-free (Dawn recommended L'Oreal shampoo). Spike got restless and stood up and wondered round the room. He found one of his old cigarette packets and a lighter and lit up.  
  
"Put that thing out!" Poppy snapped, "You may be dead but the rest of us have no wish to join you!"  
  
"Awwww, please?"  
  
"No!"  
  
"Well then, you can at least answer me a few questions then."  
  
"Such as?" He had all of their attention now. Except Min, who was engrossed in her chess game (should she move the rook or the pawn? Answers on a postcard please)  
  
"Well who are you? Or rather, *what* are you? You're clearly not from round here, yet you seem to know exactly who we are, and where everything is."  
  
"I'm Kat." Kat told him, "And this is Poppy"  
  
"Hey" she smiled  
  
"Haz,"  
  
"That's me." Haz informed him.  
  
"And Min." Min merely waved a kand at him in recognition, her eyes glued to the chess board.  
  
"And where are you from?"  
  
"England." Kat told him.  
  
"Well I realized *that*! Wait, you're not from that bloody watchers council are you?"  
  
"The Watcher's Council?" Kat sounded disgusted "No way!  
  
We're..." She searched for the right explanation.  
  
"For goodness sake Katherine, get on with it! What she's *trying* to tell you is that we're not from this world. We're from the same realm as the Powers that Be." Haz told him impatiently.  
  
"Oh, them. Hold up, you're not Gods or something?"  
  
"No, not in our world. But here, we have more power... have you ever read Sophie's World?" Kat took over again  
  
Spike spluttered "Who d'you think I am?!" He asked.  
  
"Oh, ok, well we know you, and Sunnydale cos we've spent so much time watching you..."  
  
"You watch me? Well, US?"  
  
"Yes" Kat told him impatiently "D'you want to hear what I've got to say or not? Well sometimes we can make things happen, Magic things I mean. Change the course of your world's history," she grinned suddenly "which is exactly what we're doing now, by kidnapping you and Dawn!"  
  
Spike sunk into a chair with his head in his hands.  
  
"Bloody Hell!" he said. 


	5. In which the slayer gets her act togethe...

Disclaimer as before, but you know it by now surely?  
  
A/N: You all know Buffys friends call themselves the Scooby Gang, don't you?  
  
The story so far: Well the Avengers + their captives are in the Buffy prop room, hiding out from Demons etc, but where's that slayer got to? She hasn't appeared at all so far, and you'd think she would've noticed a distinct lack of Spike and Dawn by now... Oh hold up, she has!  
  
Part V - In which the slayer gets her act together  
  
"Hey Mom!"  
  
"Hey Mrs Summers."  
  
"Hello!"  
  
"Hi,"  
  
"Hi,"  
  
The Scooby Gang arrived back at the Summers' house, blissfully unaware of the night's events.  
  
"Where's Dawn?" Buffy asked, trying to act casual about her inquiry. They all knew how concerned she was for her sister's safety and they never commented.  
  
"She should be upstairs," Joyce said and called up the stairs, "Dawn!"  
  
There was no answer.  
  
"Dawn!" she called again, louder. Still no answer.  
  
The gang looked at each other and then Buffy wordlessly climbed the stairs. She checked all the rooms then returned downstairs at a run.  
  
"She's gone! Come on!" was all Buffy said before leaving the house still running. The others followed. Joyce tried to but Giles stopped her.  
  
"Stay here" he warned, "she might come home." Then he followed the others as they chased after Buffy.  
  
"Where are we going?" Xander panted as he finally caught up with Buffy, but only after she'd slowed to a fast walk.  
  
"I know where she is." Buffy explained.  
  
"How?"  
  
Buffy stopped, puzzled suddenly. "I'm not sure, but we haven't got much else to go on!"  
  
* * * * *  
  
The Scoobies crashed through the doors to the prop room. It was the only solid thing in view from outside, because as the characters weren't supposed to go here, the writers hadn't thought about making it properly.  
  
"Spike," Buffy drawled in her `I should have known you were behind this and I'm going to kill you' voice.  
  
"I should have known you were behind this" She told him "And now I'm gonna kill you."  
  
"Hey! I'm nothing to do with this!" he backed away to nearer where the four girls were standing around Dawn, to keep the Scoobies from grabbing her.  
  
"I'm just as kidnapped as Dawn!" Buffy looked at the other girls, who gathered closer together. Kat, Haz and Poppy had their `We're determined and we ain't giving an inch' looks on their faces. Min had her nose stuck in the Vampyr Book, oblivious to them all.  
  
Buffy turned back to Spike, "You got kidnapped by a bunch of little girls?!" She asked credulously, trying to hold back her giggles.  
  
"Oi! Kat said, "We are NOT little! Well, Haz is, but the rest of aren't! And Haz has a gun, which makes up for it."  
  
Haz showed them her gun proudly.  
  
"And you can't have Dawn, or Spike." Poppy told them.  
  
Buffy was silent for a moment whilst Willow, Giles and Xander looked at her for guidance as to what to do. Kat, Haz and Poppy stared defiantly at her. Min was still reading oblivious.  
  
"DUCK!" Buffy shouted suddenly. Willow, Giles and Xander threw themselves to the ground and Haz was so surprised that she did too.  
  
Buffy knocked the gun out of Haz' hand with a high-kick. Then she shouted to the Scoobies. "Get the red-head, Kat, she's the brains of the operation!"  
  
What happened next, nobody could quite say, but after a comic -trip fight in a cloud of dust, with the words  
  
*kepow!*  
  
*Bang!*  
  
*Hi-Yah!*  
  
springing out at odd intervals the dust cleared and Buffy could be seen with her hands around Kat's neck.  
  
"Now we've got the brains of your operation!" she said triumphantly.  
  
"Sorry guys," Kat said woefully  
  
"So you've got to give Dawn and Spike back..."  
  
BANG!  
  
A book snapped shut, drawing everyone's attention away from Buffy.  
  
Min turned to Buffy, folding her arms.  
  
"That's what you think." She said. 


	6. In which everything comes together

I'm bored of this disclaimer now, you all know it anyway. Go back to chapter 1 if you wanna read it again.  
  
A/N: Last chapter! *And* it's a long one! The `President of the Galaxy...' quote is from The Hitchhiker's guide to the Galaxy, a book by Douglas Adams. The kitchen idea for the home of the PTB came from the film, The Matrix. The song at the end is an adapted version of `She Knows' by Four Star Mary. Also you should know that actually I totally worship Joss Whedon as the creator of Buffy and Angel, and only get annoyed with what he does with the characters sometimes...  
  
The story so far: Dawn and Spike were kidnapped by the Avengers, four teenage girls who were annoyed with Joss Whedon, but then he sent a bunch of demons after them. When that didn't work he sent Buffy and the Scooby Gang, and everyone thought all was lost when Buffy caught Kat, the brains of the Avengers but suddenly Min stopped reading (for once!) and the question on everyone's lips is `Can she save the Avengers now?'  
  
And you thought it was just a normal evening in Sunnydale huh?  
  
Part VI - In which everything comes together  
  
"Poppy - you get Xander! Haz - Giles and Willow!" Min instructed quickly.  
In a moment Xander found himself handcuffed to Poppy, who seemed to be enjoying herself immensely, and Giles was tied to a chair, whilst Willow realised that there was a .22 Calibre against her temple.  
  
Now Min smiled smugly at Buffy.  
  
"You didn't think it would be that easy did you? You of all people should know that the President of the Galaxy's job is not to wield power, but to draw attention away from it!"  
  
"Ok, what?" Buffy asked, confused, her hands still around Kat's neck.  
  
"Oh, I forgot. You got chucked out of Pop culture class so you wouldn't understand the subtly fitting reference I just made to Douglas Adams."  
  
"Ok, what?" Buffy asked again.  
  
"Kat's just the Decoy Brains, you idiot!" Min started to get slightly annoyed.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you!" Buffy said, thrown by this sudden twist to the plot.  
  
"D'you think it's easy coming up with brilliant, mind-boggling plans and concealing the fact that you're actually and evil genius?" Min was upset now, and wasn't everyone damn well going to know it. "Well, not totally evil, but hell-bent on world domination through literature? I mean, I have issues too y'know! But all everyone thinks is `Oh, there's Min. She's alright. A little wacky maybe, but she's got no problems, don't worry about her!' Oh, the stories I could tell you..."  
  
Luckily for all of them, however, Min never did get to tell them her stories. Partly because The Powers That Be, i.e. Joss Whedon, had finally realised that a few demons and a Vampire-Slayer weren't going to stop The Avengers and partly because the story was getting a little slow, the four girls were suddenly catapulted out of Sunnydale and into somewhere quite different.  
  
The four girls found themselves standing in a solid gold kitchen. And sitting at the end of the kitchen on a solid gold wasing machine in mid-spin (It feels kinda like one of those massage chairs that vibrate, you should try it) was The Power. The God that millions submitted to, for fear of their television-watching lives, but that four girls had dared to stand up to. It was Joss Whedon.  
  
"You!" He said angrily. "D'you have any idea of the trouble you've caused? The viewers are going mental without Dawn and Spike! I've had to say that they've both simultaneously come down with a freak attack of Gastric Flu! How long d'you think I've got till they stop believing me?"  
  
"About 29 hours, 36 minutes and 15 seconds, give or take a milli-second or two." Min smiled brightly. "So you'd better start agreeing to our demands."  
  
Joss sighed. "What are they?" he asked.  
  
Min produced a roll of paper, which she ceremoniously handed to Kat who cleared her throat and unravelled it. The bottom of the scroll unrolled and trailed down on the floor. Joss gulped. Their list was *long*.  
  
"1. Hoover stairs. 2. Do maths homework..."  
  
"Not that bit!" Min told Kat "At the end."  
  
Kat quickl.y scanned through Min's `To do' list. Linally she reached the end of the list.  
  
"Post script. Infiltrate Sunnydale and force Joss to  
  
a. Stop treating Spike as Buffy's lapdog and preferably turn him evil again  
b. 14-year olds do *not* act like that, let Dawn grow up a bit.  
c. Xander and Anya are *so* cute together. Let them get married or something similar  
d. Willow and Tara do *not* fight ( I heard they do later in the series)  
e. Giles rocks and must not leave, or at least must be given his own spin-off show  
f. Buffy should stop being all `I'm saving the world, boohoo, poor me' self pity does not suit her.  
g. Bring Angel back on to normal English TV, we've only had season one here  
h. Keep Writing!" Kat read.  
  
"And if I don't?" Joss asked.  
  
"Oh, I don't know, how d'you feel about a trip to LA, girls?" Min asked the others wickedly.  
  
"Ok, ok, I give in!" Joss clapped his hands and thunder boomed.  
  
"It is done." He said mysteriously. "Now please leave me alone!"  
  
"We promise not to interfere with Sunnydale again." Kat promised, falling back into her position as decoy brain.  
  
"Shall I send you home?" Joss asked hopefully, getting ready to clap again.  
  
"No thanks, we've got a ride, just back to Sunnydale." Joss looked worried, but did as they asked.  
  
"But we don't have a ride," Haz reminded Kat when they were back in Sunnydale.  
  
"I know, she grinned, "But we're not going back just yet!"  
  
The other three realised that Kat had led them to the front of a very familiar warehouse.  
  
"The Bronze!" they cried in unison.  
  
They made their way inside where they found the Scoobies around their regular table.  
  
"Hey!" Buffy called, quite friendly compared to before. Maybe Joss was being as good as his word, or maybe it was the fact that the Avengers no longer had her sister held captive.  
  
"Oh yes!" Poppy said "The Irony of the situation is something quite similar to that of several stereotypical fictional works, but the formula works well, if it is a little repetitive."  
  
Everyone stared at her.  
  
"Oh great! Everyone just thinks I'm this brown-haired bimbo who goes to parties, drinks and flirts! I have layers you know!" she pouted and Min quickly comforted her "Of course we don't, we know your not a bimbo" she told her "Oh look, that guy over there's eying you up."  
  
"Oooh, where?" Poppy asked, quite forgetting that she was supposed to be sulking.  
  
The band struck up a few notes  
  
//They fly from a blinding light  
  
and spiral to my heart//  
  
Kat and Haz looked at each other. "Four Star Mary!" they cried  
  
"Well who did you think it would be?" A familiar North-London voice drawled. "This is Sunnyhell after all."  
  
Kat grinned.  
  
"D'you wanna dance?" The blond vampire asked.  
  
"Which one of us?" Haz asked.  
  
"Both..." He looked at them, then on to Poppy and Min. "No, *all* of you!"  
  
//I try to find my mind but  
  
don't know where to start.//  
  
The four girls looked at ach other, then smiles began to play on their faces.  
  
"Sure!"  
  
The four girls and vampire moved into the crowd.  
  
//Won't ever, can't ever  
  
find my sanity.//  
  
Then they did what they all did best.  
  
Party!!  
  
// Won't ever, can't ever  
  
till I here them calling for me.//  
  
~ Finis. For now bwahahahahahaha!  
  
A/N: So at the end of it all, we've discovered that:  
  
Kat's just the decoy  
  
Min has issues (and brains)  
  
Poppy has layers  
  
And Haz likes guns, wait, we already knew that!  
  
But hey, I have a low boredom threshold, so don't count on it staying that way for long! 


End file.
